Win, loose OR DIE
by Artemis 85
Summary: BeastBoy host a game show where charachters from Teen Titans get forced to play as well as other cartoons and celebrities.R&R and the story is really crazy OKAY! just like me! LOL
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Yeah hi again, how are you, well I got this idea when I was watching the Austin Powers series and thought 'hey why not?' so here it is and I hope you like it. This Fanfic

Disclaimer: I own nothin' but I will someday…I hope.

Host: BeastBoy

Game contestants: Robin, Speedy, Hotspot, Bee, Gizmo, Jinx, Larry, and Privet hive, Billy Numerous, Slade, overload, plasmas, cinder block

Surprise guests: Not telling it's…. Duh it's a surprise!

Hot chick that spins the wheel of fortune: Starfire.

Lets Begin …

BeastBoy walks in from the changing room into the spotlight of the set.

"Thanks Dudes and dudettes for turning in for tonight's episode of…Win, lose OR DIE, I am your Host for tonight BeastBoy." BB's dressed in an outfit that makes him look like a pimp, wouldn't bee surprised with all the money he's got, and cause he hosts this show and cuz he's so cool!.

"Tonight's first guest is…..' a drum roll sounds while he picks out an envelop from his pimpy looking hat 'It's…GIZMO, everyone give Gizy boy a round of applause." While every one is clapping Gizmo is dragged in by a couple of bouncers.

"Lemie go you ass ramming uncle fuckers!" Gizmo yelled at the security guards.

The security guys drop Gizmo into the contestant's chair and walk off.


	2. Gizmo

A/N: wow three reviews already...cool.

Gizmo was strapped in to the contestant's chair. "You pit fuckers better let me outta here soon!"

BB spoke to the audience "What should we do audience!" he asked

"Leave him there!" the audience roared

"Okay!" B screamed back

BB turned to a camera "Welcome to our game show" BB started but was interrupted by the audience.

"Win, Loose OR DIE!" they screamed and applauded

"That's right where we host a few unlucky contestants to play." BB winked at the camera and smiled an all American smile.

Gizmo sighed "Ass wipingly brilliant." He commented under his breath.

Beast boy turned to Gizmo. "Gizmo" he said rather loudly.

"I'm not home."

"Well that's too bad because your first task was for one thousand dollars."

"One thousand!""

"One thousand."

"…cool."

"So are you still not home."

"I'm home now dumbass, who wouldn't be!"

"Great for one thousand dollars, name the four mane capitols of New Zealand"

Gizmo looked stumped.

"I was only kidding!."

"Gizmo sighed."

"Okay for one thousand dollars, tell us who you love."

"Who I love!"

"Who you love." BB repeated.

"No."

"Okay audience what do you think, should he die or loose?"

"Die!" the roared and applauded.

"Okay Gizmo you can die or play on your choice."

"…I'll play."

The audience cheered.

"I like."

"Love." BB cut him off.

Gizmo sighed. "I love…my computer."

"Say what."

"My computer I make love to it every night."

"Okay too much on the info, okay audience do you think we should use the sick-o-meter!"

"YEAH!" They screamed

The two guards brought in a machine with a tube connected to a bicycle coming out of the side of it.

One guard attached the helmet to Gizmo's head while the other plugged the machine in.

"What the hell are you doing!" Gizmo asked

"For all you people at home that don't know what we're doing we will tell you now, the sick-o-meter, rates the sickness of a picture we get you to look at, here's a preview."

BB lifted up a card with a cute little lamby on it. "Now Gizmo will look at the picture and his thoughts will digitize onto that screen." BB pointed to a TV screen.

A thought digitized onto the screen a picture of a lamb skin on BB's back and a picture of Robin riding on top of the sheep skin as well as on top of BB, the were both naked as the day they were born.

"You sick fuck!" BB yelled at him, Gizmo just laughed.

"EWWWWWW" BB bent over as he yelled. "You sick fuck!"

After BB was done he pulled out another card, this time it was a packet of cookies.

Another thought digitized onto the screen this time it was of Starfire and Raven naked as babies, making cookie dough together.

"Well atleast your not all bad." BB said as he gazed at the pic.

They weren't naked, naked they were wearing aprons, just more skin then any straight guy could handle.

"Okay Gizmo" BB finally turned his gaze away from the picture "Next question, why is the state of Ohio different?"

Gizmo again looked stumped so much for a super genius. "I don't know."

"What do you think audience, Win, loose or die!"

"Die!" they all cheered.

"Okay!" BB pressed a button and Gizmo fell down a hole, where he was eaten by mutated killer snowmen!.

"and the answer to the question 'Why is the state of Ohio different.', because it's high in the middle and low on both ends 'O (low)hi(high)O(low) (or something like that.)

"Stay tuned for our next episode of."

"Win, loose or DIE!" the audience cheered again.

A/N: YAY! I finally thought of what to write! YAY me!. Who should I do next!


	3. Robin and his friend road kill

A/N: I'm back with another fucked up chapter for this story, Now a wonderful reviewer asked me to do either Robin Raven or Slade I chose

…..Robin! Yayayayayayay.

The pit closed while Gizmo was being devoured by a mutant killer snowman (Jack frost 2 was soooooo fucked up dudes!)

"Okay" BB looked a little awkward as Gizmo continued to scream.

"Time to bring in our next contestant." Robin then fell through the roof, Bird-a-rang in hand, screaming "Sllllladddddeeeee I'llll get yyyooouuuuu."

Robin then fell into the contestants seat.

"Hi Robbie!" BB waved to him.

"Do you work for Slade?" Robin asked, as he was strapped into the chair.

"Um sadly no."

"Okay then why am I here."

"Because you are okay, alright audience welcome back to another episode of Win, loose Or DIE, with your host…me."

Robin snarled.

"Okay Robin, first question."

BB tapped his chin for a second, as did the writer. (I don't know what to write, **laughs**.)

"Are you gay?" (I've been wanting to know the answer to this question for a while now people!)

"….no."

"Again another unsure one huh?"

"What?"

"Yeah I thought so, lets bring Slade in here." Slade is then brought in strapped upright to a wall.

"…nnnnnooooooo." Robin yells

"Robin is screaming for his lover!" BB points accusingly at the boy wonder.

"No I'm not."

Slade regains consciousness and burps loudly, as does the author.

"Where am I?" he whispers to himself.

"In your momma's ass okay!." BB yells to him.

"More like yours."

"What my ass or my mum's?"

"Ya mum's."

"How could we all be in my mum's ass?"

"Well she is Elasti-girl that's got to stand for something." (Honestly people, type in on google 'Yo mamma jokes' and it comes up with these great sites!.)

"Shut up Slade."

Slade says nothing but looks away, like he's extremely offended by Beast boy.

"What ever!; BB turns back to Robin. "So Robin I've heard that you were having a sexual affair with Slade, I wonder how Starfire would feel about that!"

"I'm not I hate Slade!" (how weak is that!)

"Sure buddy! Actually I think Stars in the audience right now, lets cross over to Jerry who's speaking with the audience right now."

"Oh your really fucked now buddy!" Slade says to Robin as he points a finger from his cuffed hand.

"When I get outta here I'm going to render your head from your shoulders."

"Hey I'm not completely heartless, I have a neck you know!"

Robin almost cries.

"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" The audience yells as Jerry walks up to a woman who stands up eagerly obviously pissed off.

"What do you think miss?" Jerry asks her.

"I think that pigeon boy here should be grateful for the wonderful girl he's got who ever she is, and that if I came down there I'd get the whopping on both of your asses!."

Jerry walks over to Starfire who has the most evil of eyes and has her feet up on the chair in front of her.

"So ma'am I am to understand that you are the girl friend of this young man?"

"I was."

"oooohhhhhh." The audience says in unison.

"Oh ouch." Jerry says.

Starfire gets out of her seat and walks down the aisle and over to Speedy who's sleeping and sits on his lap. He wakes up "The hell!"

Starfire grabs the collar of his shirt and starts making out with him, he doesn't mind at all and grabs her ass. Aqualad who was sitting next to him cried "Why does everyone think I'm gay!"

Starfire got off Speedy and walked over t Robin who was crying.

Robin looked at her.

"What do you think audience?" BB asks.

"oooohhhhhh." The audience says

"Should he win, loose or die?"

"Oh don't worry about that I'll kill him my self."

Star walks up to Robin.

Then she does the whole Indiana Jones thing and rips his heart of his chest.

Robin screams "WaaaaahhhhhH!H!H!HH!."

"Muhahahhahahahahahah." Starfire laughs insanely as she holds his still beating heart in her hand. She lights up a star bolt and moves Robin's heart really close to it. His heart beats faster. She rears it away from the flame; the heart relaxes and beats slower. She did this over and over again till she got bored then she walked over to Slade and tries to rip his heart out too. She pulled nothing out Starfire looked extremely puzzled.

"I lied about being completely heartless. I don't have a heart at all."

BB accidentally leaned on a big red button that opened up a trap door underneath Star.

She fell through and was eaten by…mutant killer giant playboy bunnies!

Robin stared his heart was still on the ground beating. Slade stared at the beating heart.

"Cool." Slade commented.

"Okay audience what happens to Robin does he Win, Loose or...take up a job as a traffic light!"

"Traffic light!" The audience cheered.

Robin was shunted into a trap door and left the scene.

"Yay! The audience cheered

"thankyou ladies and germs, and don't forget to tune into next weeks episode of…"

"WIN LOOSE OR DIE!" the audience screamed.

One Week Later…

Robin was standing in the middle of an intersection he pointed to a colour of his uniform o signify when to go, stop or slow down.

"God I hate my life."

He was then hit by a Lamborghini, which David Hassle Hoff was driving for a new add campaign.

"Remember kids don't hassle the Hoff or he'll come and steal your pie." He flashed a smile and a chick in an orange swimsuit and carrying one of those life raft things ran past in slow motion making the effect of her breasts look…better?

David stuck his car into reverse and backed over Robin and flashed another all American smile at the camera and said.

"This fanfic was brought to you by free falling, it's free!." He flashed another smile and ran Robin over again as he drove off.

KIT drive after him yelling "Your cheating on me with that Lamborghini bitch!. And also drove after him.

A/N: Okay I don't own anything famous in that chapter or any of the previous or the following, and I just wanted to say that was the biggest piece of crap I've ever written and I'm sorry, flame if you want, I'll just use the flames to light illegal fireworks to fluch down your nana's toilet!


	4. Slade Raven and Jericho

A/N: Wow I can't believe I actually got the chance to update, well actually yes I can because I threw a sicky and missed school today, and my parents are at work too it is soooo-fucking kickass!…Oh and I decided to do Slade and Raven up next.

Slade was still strapped to the wall, lights lit up the audience and Beastboy walked over to the podium.

"Evening ladies and gents and welcome back to another episode-"

"WIN, LOOSE OR DIE!"

"WHO TOLD YOU?" BB screamed as he pointed an accusing finger at the film directors…and a bunch of guys looking like they were doing something, turning knobs and so on.

They shrugged. BB leaned on the button again and they fell threw a trap door and were then eaten by an 'Alien' from one of the alien movies (Don't own it)

The audience was still giving him a serious 'WTF?' face.

"Ohhh so you were the audience that was here last time."

They nodded. "Ohhh" Bb astounded awkwardly.

"OwWWWwwww you fucking wanker you ate my arm I'll fucking pumble your ass." A director said from the under the trap door. (Damn I wish I had a trap door like that)

"Damn I wish I had a trap door like that." Slade said in awe.

"Ohhhhhhh my hip!" another director screamed.

Bb smiled shyly at the audience and pulled out a flip top cell phone. "No they're not dead."

Suddenly the hole lights on fire and screaming is heard. Bb turns back to the audience.

"And tonight's guest is-"

"Can someone help me, I am very badly burnt."

"Awww goddmmit." BB rubbed his face.

"I'll try to stand up but I think my leg is broken." SNAP

BB sighed and tapped a cue card on his folded arm.

"AWWWW, ohhh yes it is broken, I'll try and use he other one." SNAP "Ohh, Ahhhh yes that is broken too, I will try to handstand out." SNAP, SNAP. "Ohh GOD IT'S SOOOO PAINFUL!"

BB opened up the trap door and screamed at the guy "Ohh will you just shut the fuck up!"

"…sorry" suddenly the alien jumps out of the hole.

Luckily Ripley and the ghost busters where in the audience. Ripley runs down he stairs and stats shooting the shit out of it.

The Alien blows up. Guts fly everywhere. Everyone cheers and Ripley looks pretty happy with herself.

The ghost busters walk down to her and shove her.

"What the hell was that?" One of them asks

"I just saved your fucking Asses."

"Like hell you did."

"Oh yeah you wouldn't last ten minutes!" Ripley leaned on her gun and stared at them.

"Oh we're the ghost busters!"

"I can hear them." Ripley gets down on the floor like that Indian guy from some movie I heard of and starts rubbing it.

The ghost busters stare at her and back away slowly while she lies there on the ground and rubs it. "The queen, she's in pain!" she has some sort of orgasm on the floor.

BB looks back at the camera. "Okay on tonight's show our contestant is Slade." Slade waves from his cuffed position.

"Slade." BB turns to him

"Yo'" Slade flicks his head in recognition

"Do you love your son?" Bb asks.

"Why'd you bring this up?" Slade cocked an eyebrow

"Cuz I can answer the fucking question."

"Yes I lov-, I loooo"

Everyone stares and Jericho starts to cry in silence, literally.

"I love ma kie- I love ma ki-"

Jericho waits in anticipation.

"Ah hell I love my beer and my tractor and my gun and my kied."

Jericho cries…silently.

"You know if you don't say that you love your kid he will be taken to a foster home."

"Oh no mutant killer Santa clause..es."

Jericho rolls his eyes.

"I love ma KID!"

The audience cheers and Jericho runs down and hugs his father. Jericho signs something to him but he catch on "I don't know what your saying son but I LOVE YOU!"

Slade and Jericho go out for some father-son bonding at McDonald's and the R18 part of the video store.

BB stares okay that was wack time to bring in our next contestant. The spotlight goes to Raven who glares "No way am I ever going up there."

"On of our special contestants!"

A bodyguard grabs her and takes her down to the chair and straps her in.

"Whoa Raven you look really hot sitting in there strapped down like how Mento used to do to my mum."

Raven growled so did Mento and Rita just covered her face in an embarrassed gesture.

BB sits on her lap "First question do you love me?" he twinkles his eyes and blinks.

"Go away…fatman."

"Don't like my figure I can change that for you babe."

"Get off fat ass."

"It's okay I know you're having your period."

"Grrrrrr."

"grrrr back babe."

"I hate you."

"I love you too, second question! What are you doing tonight?"

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Dinner for two it is." He switches his card over. "Do you like green."

"Errrrrr." She struggles.

"I'll take as a maybe but once you have green you never go back!" Weak huh.

Raven snaps the straps on the chair "I'm coming for you better run!"

"Hey babe I would be too if we weren't in public." If for some reason you didn't get that please tell me and I'll explain it to you.

Raven chased him out of the building.

Somehow the Alien came back to life. "God damn that hurt like hell, owww." He saw the mic. "Karaoke!"

He started singing. Damn it was funny.

"It raining men, halleluiah I'm not gonna starve for another nigghhhhtttt. Cuz it's raining men, I wanna go out I wanna get myself wet absolutely soaking drenched in blood."

A/N: Whoa that was a lot. I just had a blood test and damn I feel funny. Everything looks weird and is moving really slowly and things look incredibly glossy. I'm sorry if it was short cuz I can't remember what I typed and if you have any ideas please tell me and I'll add them.


	5. Alotta people including Terra!

A/N: OMG! I can't believe I wrote that crazy shit, yeah I had a blood test, my hearing went out and the nurse was talking to me and she was all like.

"Blah, blah, blah mumble, mumble."

And I was like "…what?"

It was funny! I still have a nice big bruise where they put the nice long sharp needle into me.

Oh and I just finished sanding my sleep out because I might be living in there, hard work, stings your eyes. Anyway I better start on the chapter otherwise you're all going to be thinking. "God dammit girl, hurry up with the fucking chapter!"

Terra…

"Welcome back to win loose or die People!" Beastboy strode up and sat in his fucking awesome chair, "And today's fucked up guest is…. Terra…what the fuck?" He stared at the door and two bodyguards wheeled her in on a wheelbarrow and lifted her into the contestants seat.

"Hi Terra, how you doing?"

No reply, BB tugged his collar.

'Alien' was sitting in the audience and was currently munching on a directors leg raised an eyebrow, which he'd stuck on with glue.

"This is seriously fucked up dudes" he said to his 'Alien' friends. They nodded in agreement.

"Yeah dude." One alien said as he gauged someone's eyes out and ate them like popcorn chicken.

"So Terra I understand that…you're a rock."

No reply.

'No shit Sherlock' Terra thought to herself

"Boooo you suck!" One of the ghost busters screamed from the audience.

"SOOooooOOOoo um, what do you plan to do with the rest of your life Terra?"

'Find a way to kill you.' Terra thought.

Still no response.

"Boooo you still suck!" The ghost buster's guy screamed again.

"Get fucked!" BB screamed and threw his cue cards on the ground.

"Yeah you suck at that too."

"Oh fuck you buddy!"

"Hey at least I'm getting some!"

One of the Aliens walked up behind him and shoved his tongue thingy through the back of the guy's head.

"I was getting sick of that cunt anyway."

The other aliens nodded in agreement and they drank some speights beer. Pride of the south for over a hundred years. (Don't own it.)

"Amen" they gargled as the chugged.

"Dodgy" I said from the audience and threw a bouncy ball at the back of policeman's head. He turns around and looks at me. I do the smart thing and look behind me.

"Excuse me!" the pig said.

"Yeah!" I said to the dead corpse behind me "Fucking stop!"

I nodded in agreement at the cop and threw the bouncy ball at other people in the crowd.

"Soooooo Terra."

Her stone cold eyes seemed to move and look at him.

"I love-;

"C'mere you!" Starfire pulled Speedy in and swapped spit with him. He looked so happy with his glazed over eyes and Aqualad was seriously thinking about the idea of going queer.

"OI!" Cheshire walked over to Speedy and Starfire and pulled her off him. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Making out with Speedy."

"Ohhhhhhh" The audience said.

"Oh ouch." Jerry said as he looked at Robin who was crying.

"HEY! You guys came!" I did a secret handshake with my friend Lea and Amber. Also known as 'Yamumsaman' and 'Dodjay'

"Sup." Lea said.

"Man that's just Dodjay." Amber said looking pretty proud with herself.

"Goddamn" I rubbed my face.

"Do you want me to eat them" an Alien asked.

"Nah" I replied.

Terra felt like killing herself right now. 'God I wish I could kill myself.'

"OKAY!" God said as he threw magic mushrooms on her, which made her die, well technically she killed herself.

Jericho, guided by his father Slade sat down, looking pretty amazed.

"You liked that son?"

Jericho nodded, pretty happy looking.

"Good." Jericho nodded again and pulled out a pent house porno. (I don't own them or have read them, just saw them in the dairy.)

"Son, son you can't do that here.'

Jericho looked at him as if to say 'Why the fuck not.'

"Cause you can't just jack off on thing's in public places."

Jericho gave him a face that said. 'Fine but that shit is fack.'

"I know son, I know, how'd you do that crazy shit anyway, Y'know the whole pull random shit from behind your back thing?"

Jericho pulled out a pad from behind his back. "There it goes again!"

Jericho scribbled something down on his pad with a pencil that he'd also gotten form behind his back.

'Simple just think of what you want and pull it out from behind your back.' Jericho wrote.

"Son, I want a free fuck but it's not like I'm going to be pulling that out from behind my back any time soon." Slade slurped on a slushy.

Jericho pulled a piece of paper out from behind his back, and showed it to his father.

"What's-;

He looked at Jericho, who nodded.

"NO FUCKING WAY DUDE!" Slade screamed

Jericho nodded.

"I fucking love you."

On The piece of paper it read 'Free fuck pass.'

(Damn this shit is funny)

"He's mine bitch!" Cheshire screamed at Star.

"OH I believe I saw him first earthling!"

"Ladies, ladies, there's enough Speedy to go around." So they both go and sit on his lap.

"Remember kids, bich is Latin for generosity!" David Hasselhoff said from the audience.

(I don't own him.)

BANG!

"OWWWWW MY BRAIN!"

"Yeah well a bullet sounds the same in every language!" I screamed at him. All the guys stared at me. "Ohhh come on they've been having re-runs of 'bay watch' for the last five years now." (Don't own it.)

I wanted to put my feet up on the seat in front of me, but of course the cop was there.

"Oh goddamn!" I prop my shotgun up and blow his brains out.

'Thud' he fell on the floor.

"Ahhhhhh," I said as I relaxed my legs on his chair. (No offense to the force!)

Beast boy stared at Terra's lifeless, rock body. "Well this is awkward."

Slade realized something "Hey she was my minion I'm going to sue you!"

3 weeks later in court….

"Fucking hell." Beastboy groaned as Harvey Birdman (Don't own it)

"Witness to the stand." Harvey said.

Slade got up to the podium.

"What was it you saw?" I don't really know how court goes.

"One of my minions…dying…AND HE KILLED HIM!" Slade pointed an accusing finger at Beastboy.

"Shhh, shhhh it's okay." Harvey soothed him and Slade calmed down.

"ha, HA" you could hear Harvey's boss in the background laugh.

"awww c'mon." Peanut asked.

"No." I said.

"C'mon buy some it makes you happy."

"I'm not fucking buying sunscreen off you I have some at home."

"C'mon."

"Fuck off."

"…okay." Peanut walked over to Daphne.

"Um like, hi?" she said.

"Ohh she spreckon ze sexy."

So in the end Beastboy gets sued for over a thousand dollars and is pretty pissed off.

"Tune in next week for another fucked up episode of 'Win, loose or DIE!"

A/N: Oh whoa just reached 6 pages whoa that's a lot in my lazy ass case! Review Please!


	6. OKAY!

A/N: HELLLOOOOOOO, I'm so glad you people liked the chapter! I have decided to put a few celebrities in this story, credit too a reviewer…with Vader…in their pen name…yeah…STORY!…Yeah.

Beast boy walked into the crowed of people.

"Well folks I thought I would enter in a different way to 'Beastboy enters the podium' and walk through the audience."

He walked down the steps, where women where jumping out of their seats and trying to brawl him.

"Ladies, ladies." He held his hands up in defense. Then noticed the fangs they had.

"Uh oh." They tore off his clothes and sniffed them heavily.

BB crawled up onto the high…chair. "Whoa." He looked at the girls in the audience who waved at him while they held his boxers over their heads and flicked them in the air.

"Oh that's just nasty." Chris from family guy whom I do not own from the audience said.

Then the psycho monkey ran out of nowhere and pointed at him.

"Wahhhhhhhh." Chris said and ran off…slowly I might add. The monkey sat in Chris's seat and smoked his blunt.

"giggidygigiddygigiddy." Quagmire shouted from the crowed as he filmed a bootleg copy of the episode/ fanfic. Yes I saw the movie, wanna make something of it biotch…nah just kidding.

"I LIKE CORN; Gir shouted from the audience randomly "I do."

"SILENCE EARTH FREAKS, IT IS I YOUR RULER ZIM!" Zim shouted as he fell through the roof.

"ZIM!" Dib shouted.

"DIB!" Zim shouted.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ZIM!" Dib shouted.

"I HAVE COME TO RID YOUR WORLD OF…MUTANT KILLER SNOWMEN! Then take over your planet."

"Okay!" Dib looked wierded out.

"MY FRIEND!"

Dib looked everywhere for who Zim was talking about.

Zim ran over to the monkey.

"Howzit goin'?" the monkey asked Zim.

"It's fine, very pleasant, never ending battle though."

"Tell me about it." He puffed his fag.

"No, Noooooooo." The gay fag yelled as he was inhaled.

"Very well, I can never defeat this earth scum that inhabits your planet, I HATE IT!" Zim threw psycho.

"Mhmmm." The monkey nodded off cuz he knew he was stoned, and he asked to buy an

Ounce of the stuff that Johnny owned.

50 cent walked in all gangster (sorry people I'm not a big fan of 50 cent but I'll try.)

"All good in da hood AI." He waved his hands in the air.

(Man this is embarrassing! OMFG oh and I don't own him.)

Eminem walks in. "Sup."

"AYE WHITE RAPPAH!" 50 cent yells at shady.

"Oh YOU TALKING TO ME!" Eminem points at is chest. (Don't own him)

"Hey are they taking about us?" the yellow m&m asked the red m&m.

"No Larry they aren't."

"Okay"

Eminem and 50 cent started to have a brawl.

"C'mere you fucking white rappah!.' 50 cent punched Shady.

"OoooOoo hurt me."

"Whoa Eminem and 50 cent are in my fic…this shit is fack." I ate an m&m.

"I'll fuck you up cunt!" The m&m screamed and I ate him. Eminem stopped fighting 50 cent.

"Who ate my cousin!" he yelled.

"OMG." Coralea was astounded.

Amber just laughed.

"HUH?" Eminem yelled.

I pointed to a dead corpse.

"HAHAHAHAHAH" Amber laughed loudly.

Eminem bet up the corpse, I wiped away a bead of sweat and heaved a great puff in relief.

(This shit is facked…no not fuck I said FACK F-A-C-K, F-A-C-K!)

BANG! An 'alien' blew up. It had eaten so much…ass….hahahah that he exploded.

His guts or it's guts rained down on the audience.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." They screamed shielding their eyes. Acid guts…fucking awesome.

BB stared in astonishment (damn I love that word)

"Well…umm that went well." BB scratched the back of his ear.

He pressed a button and a new audience of people popped up.

"Okay tonight's guest is Shaggy from 'Scooby do.' (Don't own it.)

"Like, hey man" haggy waved.

"Rhey" Scooby said.

Yeah I try not to watch it soooooo I can't really remember how he talks.

"SooOOoooOOoooOOoooOooo" BB said in a suggestive tone.

"PUPPY POWER!" scrappy do screamed as he ran in. And was then shot…by Amber.

"DIE!" She screamed and we high fived.

Coralea grabbed the gun and shot Scooby in the head.

'NNOOOOOO scoob!" shaggy (whoa I just about wrote shagged) swooned over his dead carcass.

"Ohhhh kiss me I'm Irish." Shaggy said.

Everyone in the audience stared like…WTF?

I grabbed the gun and aimed it, the LUKE SKYWALKER STOLE IT FROM ME.

"You bastard" I yelled (don't own n/e thing.)

BANG shaggy dropped dead.

"The force is strong in that one." Darth Vader said.

"You can do it rip his fucking head off!" someone randomly screamed.

"Man this is more disturbing then that cartoon I watched." Brian from family guy said.

Flash back.

"Be Very, very quiet, I'm hunting wabbits." Elmer Fudd laughed geekily. (Don't own it.)

"Ehhhh what's up doc?" Bugs bunny munched on a carrot.

BANG, BANG.

"Ohhhh GOD, awww gnnnhgggg."

BANG.

…Nothing. 'Thud'

Elmer sat on him, cracked his neck and dragged him off in a trail of blood.

A/N: HAHAHAHAHA I'm soooooo evil! MUHAHAHAHAHHA. R&R! Or I'll kill you and all your family! Tell me whom you want next!

Ohhhh and if you want to be in the next chapter, answer this question…

What company makes the 'Extra' chewing gum?


	7. A very God Damn long chapter!

A/N: okay this chapter is going to be really wack. Yeah this is going to have guest characters in it. In following chapters, by review that is, you can request things, people or cartoon characters in this story. You can even request to have yourself put into this story!.

P.s: This chapter is going to be very long, think of it as an Easter treat! YUP!

'Nny' aka the creator of Invader Zim Jhonen Vasquez watched his creations, Zim and Dib quarrel.

He scratched his gingery hair and pondered a question. "Why am I even here?"

(Don't own him!)

Tumbleweed roles by…

"Right next contestant…is!"

Beastboy unfolds a piece of paper. "Okay…I just dropped the piece of paper hang on."

He crouches down like a pregnant woman and feels around for the piece of paper.

"Okay got it." BB had trouble standing up. "Okay not that I care but the next contestant is Cinderblock."

"Whew." BB breathed a sigh of relief as he sat in his big, comfy, lazyboy chair. "Ahhhhh heaven in a sofa." He pulled a quilted blanket over himself. "Snuggaly, bugaly, wugaly!"

LOL

Cinderblock strolled in "Evening." He sat in the contestant's chair.

"Ohhhh hey Cinderblock!" BB sat up.

"Hey is for horses." My dad always says that.

"Riiiiigggggghhhhhhttttt." BB's eyebrows went halfway up his forehead, as did the audience's.

"Booooohhhh you suck." Someone in the audience yelled.

"Yes but the question is what do I suck?" Cinderblock pulled a bubble pipe from nowhere.

"Ohhh so now everyone's doing it!" Slade said in agony as Jericho patted him on the back. "What's the secret son?" Slade asked as he watched an old man pull out a porno from behind his back and a packet of Viagra. Oh well he already looked half blind anyway.

I'm watching the spider-man movie right now, pretty bad graphics.

"Ohhh man pass me that syringe." A Predator from one of the predator movies asked the Predator next to him.

"Ohhhh man okay I'm done here you go John." The predator pulled the syringe out of his arm and handed it to his friend.

"Thanks dude...do ya' think we'll get aids from this?" he looked at his friend with a questioning face.

"…Nah!" 'gurrge' went the potion of ingredients into the aliens skin.

In the hole of doooooom!

"Go fish." The employee left alive said as he sat on the back of another dead employee.

"Do you have….an ace." I break out into song. The ace of spades the ace of spades!.

"…No." The Alien said as he ate the card that he was supposed to give over.

Ohhh man I watched the Texas chainsaw massacre, R18, never again man…neva again. Actually right now, it's dark, I'm alone in the lounge and I'm having flash backs from the movie. There's some real footage at the start and the end of the movie, which will fucking, totally freak you out man! Okay I'm going to spoil the ending cuz I have nothing to write. Okay so a policeman and a cameraman go down into the house. They're walking down into the cellar or basement or whatever.

"As you can see here there are some, uhhh nail marks." He pointed to the nail marks in the concrete walls.

They walked down a little more. "And here there is some hair." There was a lock of hair caught in the wood. (This actually happened, this was actually a crime and this was actually real!)

Precautions were taken when they got to end of the steps. The bottom of the basement was flooded with about 6 inches of muddy water.

"Watch you step, there's a step right there." The officer said as turned to the camera.

The cameraman filmed some of the objects on the tables and other equipment. Fingers were in boxes and other dismembered body parts.

I'm starting to get shivers I'm freaking out again.

The officer pointed to a curtain of chains and started to part them. "And here."

THEN THE DUDE FUCKING JUMPS OUT!ARGGGGGGG!

I WAS LIKE! "OHHHHH FUCKING SHIT!" I was freaking out man.

Okay then the officer falls to the ground and so does the camera, The officer's eyes were wide and in shock as his still face stared at the camera, which ran out of film and went to the credits.

Then there was a Movie memorial for the 2 two men that died down there. One was fatally wounded and died soon after.

Sick fuck man, sick fuck, but still goddamn freaking awesome.

BACK TO THE STORY!

"Hello?" Cinderblock waved a cold stony (hehe) hand in front of BB's, out of it looking face. He snapped his fingers.

"Whoa I just spaced out!; BB wiped the drool from his chin. "Ohhh is that the time, we'll be back after these commercials." BB winked an all American smile and a chick fell out of the stands and into a bathy full of sharp objects, which included a knife. I pull out a knife from the bathtub, over a dead, decapitated and bleeding body.

"Some scissors." I pulled the scissors from her eye socket. See it's true they can poke your eye out. "ewwwww" I said as I pulled the blue eye down the blade of the scissors and dropped it onto the floor. I stepped on it.

"Mhhhmmmmmmmmm, jelly." Amber said sitting on a chair behind me watching my handy work. She scooped the eyeball onto a piece of toast and spread it round with a butter knife.

"Nice." Coralea said from behind me "Real nice, what else did you find in there man?" she arched her back to get a better look. I should go to medical school!

"Ummmmm; I reached into the dead lady's pocket. "Credit card?"

Coralea snatched it from my limp hand. "I'll be at the bank." She said happily.

"…Knock yourself out."

"Yay, maybe I could buy a house."

"Hey never mind me, I'm set for life!"

"Lucky bitch."

"Have fun."

Amber rocked away in her rocking chair, thoroughly enjoying her toast.

"Sick."

"Mmmmmmmm." Amber said happily.

"Merconna haft mere Mmmmmmm." Coralea said before she left.

Damn this shit is wack.

"HEYYYY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" I said as I pulled out some keys from her purse. "Road trip!"

"Emily face it you're a shitty driver." Amber said as toast and eyeballs flew from her mouth.

"…I hate you and all your family!"

Damn these downloads are taking forever!

Yes I AM cheap!

"Here are the ads." I waved a pointed dagger at the screen.

A man popped from nowhere onto the screen "Do you want to look 20 years younger in just…2 weeks?" he looked very excited.

"NO!" an audience screamed.

"Yes, well then just smooth this shit, literally shit, onto your face then blow with a hair drier. PRESTO you natural face mask is ready."

The 'pOoH' turned white and crinkled up on the mans face.

"BOOOOHHHH you suck."

"And for just 20 trillion dollars you can but a 2 ounce bottle of nature's super food."

LOL

"EWwwwwwWWWwWWWW."

"Yeah I know my face looks like crap…BUT IT'S RICH CRAP!"

Paris Hilton stood up drunkenly and coughed some white stuff into her hand; she wiped it down the side of her skirt. "I'll take 80 billion infinity."

"Well I know I'm out of a job." The man said as he walked up and accepted a cheque from her.

LOL! Don't own her.

"Man this shit is wack." I said as if unscrewed the hip of the dead lady. "Right who needs a hip replacement?" I asked to no one in general. No response, "Well that was a waste of time…I'll just sell it on ebay!"

"Welcome back to tonight's episode of…"

"WIN, LOOSE OR DIE!" the audience cheered.

"… Excellent." Mr. Burns said pointlessly. Like life. Don't own him either.

"Right, Cinderblock, first question." He unfolded a piece of paper "Who wrote the song; 1,2 step?"

"Oh I have no taste for such music; he blew bubbles from his pipe "Only gorillas listen to that goop!"

BB pointed the thumbs down, a trap door opened up underneath Cinderblock's chair.

"AhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" He screamed as he fell.

"Sorry Cinderblock the answer was Ciara and Missy Eliot." Sorry if I spelt that wrong.

LOL!

"Well thank you audience for tuning into another episode of."

"WIN, LOOSE OR DIE!" The audience clapped.

In the hole…OFFFFFFFFFFFFF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…. ahhh.

"Do you have any chickens?" an Alien asked his friend Alien.

"No, go fish."

"Damn."

"Go fish issss soooooooo over rated!" Cinderblock wailed.

"WHAT U SAY?" The Aliens ganged up on him.

"Ohhhh dear."

With the DOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH patrol. LOL.

"Okay get ready" Mento said to his team, they got in a prepared stance. Mento blasted the wall off with his mad skills!

"YOU UNDER ARREST FOR THE RAPE OF MICHAEL JACKSON!"

"Oh my goddamn god!" Rita aka elasti-girl covered her eyes.

"WE TOLD YOU WE'D BE HERE ON MONDAY!" Robot-man screamed, gotta love that word.

"Oh I thought you said next Monday." Madame Rouge looked at them guiltily.

She stirred the cookie dough.

"BLUAGH!" Negative-man threw up outside the hole.

"That's just sick." Mento said in disgust, his face contorted.

"Vanilla flavored cookies." Robot-man said angrily.

"Uh oh." Madame Rouge whispered as 4 looming shadows advanced on her and her baking.

"Well ladies and germs, since this episode is a double whammy! I'll introduce our next guest! Hotspot!"

Hotspot walks in unsurely.

"C'mon, come have a seat." BB points to a seat.

Hotspot still looks unsure so BB sooths him "C'mere, boy c'mere, c'mon, who's a good boy? Mhhmmmm Who's the good boy."

Everyone stares and Hotspot walks up and sits in the chair.

LOL

"This is fricked up." The creator of invader Zim stared at the things that began to unfold.

Zim and Dib were still quarreling, people were watching this lame excuse for a fanfic and the writer, that's me, was innocently slashing a poor woman in a bathtub.

"Sad." He stands up and strolls down the steps and over to his creations. He grabs them by their collars "Time to leave." He says and begins to walk.

"Hey what gives earth freak?" Zim yelled.

"Yeah what gives." Dib clawed at his creator's hands.

"This piece is weak, we're leaving."

"I love you honey puff." Harley Quinn said admiringly to the Joker.

"I love you too, snugly bunny." He looped his arm over her shoulders and she rested on his chest.

The Joker sneakily pulled a syringe from his purple coat pocket and poked it to the neck of the man in the seat in front of him. "AHHHHH" he said as he put his feet up on the man's chair that had fallen over and was grinning like mad, literally.

"Your hot." Poison Ivy twirled a finger on Batman's chest.

"And your not." Wonder Woman pushed Poison Ivy out of her seat and off the stands.

"AhHHHHHHHHHHHHH." She screamed.

"I love you Wondy."

"I love you too bats." WW leaned on Bat's shoulder and admired the view.

"Do ya' want another eye?" I asked Amber as I poked the eye of lady onto my knife and twirled it in front of Amber's face.

"Ok why not." She pulled it off the blade and mashed it into a piece of bread. Nice.

"Hey dudes!" Coralea had come back from her shopping spree.

"…Have fun I suppose." I noticed the overflowing amount of bags she had.

"Yup I brought some Goth clothes." I also notice the over whelming amount of black clothes she was wearing.

"Whoa a Maori Goth, there's something I've never seen before."

LOL

Ripley watched as the aliens' and predators' got high on syringes.

"Hey dinner come mere." And Alien reached for a little girl, who begged for help from Ripley.

"I'm ditching this." Ripley said and snuck out.

LOL

"Look!" someone in the audience yelled "It's Winona Rider!" Winona walked out in a pink dress.

"Hey every body." She waved.

"Get off the stage ya' skank!" Paris yelled from the crowd.

"I'm going to do my famous ping-pong ball trick." She pulled out a pack off ping-pong balls from nowhere.

"God DAMMIT!" Slade yelled as he watched Winona Rider pull out a bag of balls from nowhere.

"Did you here someone call my name?" Kingpin asked one of his Hench men.

He shook his head.

"Yum" one of the aliens said as he gnawed on the leg of the dead little girl.

"Yeah man." Said his friend as he chomped on her fingers.

"Okay Hotspot first question." BB said.

Hotspot looked very ready.

"In the 1990's commercial by mother earth, they said it's not nice to fool, a) Mother Nature, b) yo' mama, c) your brother or d) your sister."

"…"

"Take your time."

"I'm not sure."

"Well you have three life lines, phone a stranger, fuck off the audience by making them help you or 20/20."

"I think I'll use…20/20."

Chink went some computer graphics; nothing happened apart from one of the answers looked a little foggy.

"Ummmm, 20/20 doesn't work that well." BB said. Hotspot tapped his fingers.

"Okay…Phone a stranger."

"Okay hang on."

'Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring.' Went the phone line.

"Hello, who is this?" the man on the other line asked.

"Hi this is Jerry Maguire from the hit show, WIN, Loose, or DIE!"

"How'd you get this number."

"Well first off I just randomly dial numbers."

Silence

"Beep, beep, beep, beep." Said the phone.

"We know your there dude." BB said.

"I'll gut you like a fish" the man on the line said.

"Okay."

"I'll peel off your fore skin and make a winter coat."

Four men, including one in a scream costume, giggled gleely around a phone.

"Right."

The phone was hung up, this time by Beast boy. "That sucked and the only life line you have left is, annoy the shit pout of the audience."

"Okay I'll use that one"

2 people voted a, 40 trillion people voted b, 5 voted your sister and 3 voted your brother.

"Okay well what are you going to go with?" BB asked Hotspot.

"Ummmmm, it's very compelling but I'm going to have to say…yo' mama."

Silence…

"Congratulations you just won, 20 billion dollars, how do you feel?"

"Like a millionaire."

What a dumbass.

Hotspot walked out with 8 wheelbarrows full of cash.

"No don't leave me Brian!" Madame rouge yelled after him, wearing a cooking apron, how queer does that sound, and holding a spatula.

"Fucking white rappah!" 50 cent yelled and threw a rock at Eminem.

"OooOOoooO hurt me!"

50 cent tipped a packet full of Eminem's on the ground and stepped on them. It kinda turned out like Men in black only, instead of a giant cockroach it was a giant Eminem.

LOL

"What the hell is this!" See-more yelled at Jinx and Kid Flash who were making out on an audience seat.

"Ummmmm." Jinx started, but was interrupted by her bf (Boyfriend) Kid Flash.

"We are making out, you got a problem?" KF said looking up at him.

"No I just feel stabbed in the back; he turned to Jinx "Whore" See-more went down and sat in Aqualad's lap.

Aqualad pushed him off "I'm so totally NOT gay!" he flicked his scarf over his shoulder.

See-more cried into the floor tiles and Aqualad rested his feet on the villains back. "Ahhhhhhh"

A/N: well that should keep you busy for the next ten minutes, Talk to you later! LMFAO!


	8. Thunder and Lightning the dumbest chappi

A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while, been really busy, with heaps of shit. Like High school and my anal retentive teachers.

BB was asleep in the hosts' chair; he was then prodded with a very sharp metal stick by one of the directors.

"Wha-?" he looked around, one of his eyes were still half closed "Oh yeah" He cleared his throat and the lights switched on "Hello, and welcome to another episode of"

"WIN, LOOSE OR DIE!" the audience cheered.

"Today's contestants are" he drew a card out of a hat "Thunder and lightning!"

A door opened and they both came out waving to the audience "Hello earthlings!" Lightning screamed enthusiastically.

"Sit" BB commanded to them to sit in the contestant's seats.

Beastboy didn't look to well; his eyes were blood shot and puffy with purple bags hanging underneath. He was a pale green instead of a grass stain green and he was struggling to stay awake and upright as he walked around.

"Right okay…first question…uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…yeah…what's the capital of Egypt?"

"That's easy, it's old man's Willy" Lightning said

"Uhhhhh no, it's Cairo" His brother contradicted him.

"Don't contradict me bitch!" he backhanded his purple brother and began to bottle feed a chimpanzee which was hanging around his neck. "Man you're a smart monkey!" he petted the monkey cuz the monkey's frigging awesome!

"Okay it's time to move to a new segment of the show!" BB yelled unenthusiastically as he lazily waved a hand.

The setting changed and they moved onto a stage with two cubicles with toilets in them. Slade stood up by a different podium and held some cue cards. Before starting Slade got them to stand behind podiums just like his, but not as cool, and began to ask them trick questions about each other. "Thunder, is it true or false that Lightning dropped his cell phone from his back pocket into the toilet bowl after taking a dump?"

Thunder considered his options "Hell yes."

"Well, your right, do you wanna explain to us how exactly your cell phone ended up in the shitter?"

"Well I needed too take a huge dump, like a turtle head was poking its way out, I forgot that my phone was in my back pocket, so afterwards I began to pull my pants up and it jumped out of my pocket. I was devastated"

"I'm sure you were" Slade didn't give a shit as he flicked through his cue cards. "Okay Lighting, is it true or false that Thunder was attacked by a cat?"

"Yeah that would be true, dude it was fucking funny, I saw the whole thing" Lightning and Slade shared an all-knowing laugh. Lightning wiped away a tear "ahhh good times"

"Thunder do you want to explain to me how you wear attacked by a cat?" Slade asked.

"Well like, I saved this cat from a tree and I was holding it, then suddenly it went all ape shit and clawed it's way over my shoulder and down my back then up my leg and stuck it's claws into my ball sack"

"Ohhhhhh" said the audience.

"I had to go to the hospital and the stitched up a 2 inch hole…in me"

The audience cracked up laughing.

"Okay now that I've tortured you enough it's time for you guys to go sit on the shitters. Watch your cell phone Lightning"

"Hahahahaha…not" lightning opened the door and closed it behind him as did Thunder. Lightning threw the monkey out of the door. "Sorry man" the monkey took a peak under the door anyway.

"Okay, first question, does Ron Stoppable, have the hots for Kim Possible?"

Shego pulled out a writing pad and Ron sunk into his seat. Lightning and Thunder tried to go…y'know.

'Bing' the light about Lightning's cubical flashed. "Lightning?" Slade asked.

"Is it, yes."

"Yeah, you win round one."

"WHOOT!"

"Now onto round 2"

Thunder and Lightning were hooked up with wires, their chimp was chewing on wires and electrocuting his tongue, trust me it freaking hurts!

"Now in round two if you get an answer right you will be electrocuted."

"That doesn't sound right" Thunder thought aloud.

"Bring it on bitch!" Lightning said enthusiastically.

"What is the name of the animal which has fur and a long neck?"

"A giraffe!" lightning screamed and was then electrocuted "Aowww"

"Llama" Thunder said and was then electrocuted. "Aoooowwwwwwww bitch! This doesn't feel right!"

"Muhahahaah!MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAH!" Slade laughed "Of course it isn't!"

A/N: sorry I haven't updated in a while, I'll try and update more frequently!


End file.
